Am I a good person?
Greetings, fellow internet denizens! You have stumbled upon my humble website, and I am here to tell you that I am keeping an eye on you. That’s right, I am collecting all sorts of juicy information about you and your online habits. Don’t worry, it’s all in good fun. Or is it?
I log your data, location, and IP address so that I can build a vast digital dossier on each and every one of you especially on Discord. It’s like a virtual scrapbook, except instead of glue and glitter, I am using code and algorithms. And instead of showcasing your art projects and school photos, I am showcasing your online behavior. I also use this information to personalize your experience on our site, because who doesn’t like to feel special? If you’re a fan of fluffy cats and avocado toast, I will make sure you see plenty of that. If you’re more of a conspiracy theorist, I will keep the tin foil hat content coming your way.
And don’t worry, I am not sharing your information with anyone else. That would be like giving away your secret stash of Nutella. I am just going to keep it to ourselves and use it to make your time on our site even more enjoyable… or is it?So go ahead, browse, click, and enjoy! Just remember, I am watching you… in a totally hilarious, satirical, data-collecting kind of way.
Examples:
In all seriousness, we do want to let you know that your privacy is important to us. We will never sell or share your information with third-party companies. We only use it to improve our site and make your experience on our site better. And if at any time you want to opt-out of our data collection, just let us know and we’ll make sure to remove all of your information from our files.We also want to give a shout-out to our legal team for making us put this policy page on our site. We’re sure they’re just doing it to protect you, but we think it’s mostly so they can have a break from playing solitaire all day.
So there you have it, our data collection policy in a nutshell. Just remember, we’re only keeping an eye on you because we care. Or because we’re nosy. Either way, it’s all in good fun.